"Twilight" the TV Show?

Is there such a thing as too much of a good thing? Yes, for sure. As someone who once ate through an entire box of Golden Grahams in one sitting and then regurgitated every last golden-y graham-y bit within minutes of digestion (I was 6 years old for chrissakes!) I know that some appetizing meals are best served in moderation, and unfortunately the Twilight franchise is no exception to the rule.

R-Patts and T-Lauts (who decided that this sort of name hyphenation system was cool anyways?) are still hotter than a pile of pancakes fresh off the skillet but could a television adaptation of the film adaptation of the book series be enough to squelch their meal ticket or will it continue to kick up some more royalties for the profiteering writer, Stephenie Meyers?

Yes, it’s true we may potentially be seeing a Twilight TV spinoff in the works. According to “ContactMusic Magazine”, Pattinson stands to make nearly 1.8 million dollars an episode for the series that Summit Entertainment is discussing bringing to the small screen as early as mid 2010.

If this is true that would put the release of the show, sometime shortly after the film release of Eclipse. How convenient. However, with the final installment of the film series yet to actually be filmed, Breaking Dawn, how exactly would the TV series fit in with the books/movies? Would it completely divert from the books, a true spinoff, or perchance could we see where the ever awkward and utterly inappropriate romance between vampire-hybrid, and daughter, Renesmee and Jacob goes... (Eck!) Details of the actual content of the show has yet to be released to the public.

Even with the 1.8 million dollar price tag could reprising this role on the small screen mark a crucial misstep in Pattinson’s film career? Some would wager a big fat YES.

Some would also wager that perhaps with the addition of The Vampire Diaries series added to the CW’s lineup, primetime television might already be inundated with enough teen-vampire drama. I mean does Twilight really need to monopolize every avenue of Vampire-centric entertainment? How about we let a show based on a book series written 15 years before Twilight have a chance at the market? (i.e. The Vampire Diaries).

Anyone? I guess I should wait until rumors are confirmed first before getting too fired up [sigh].

‘I’m Pregnant And….” TV Show Puts the Blues in Baby Blues

Discovery health has just added a new show to their Tuesday night primetime lineup, and it rivals some of the ever-downer television shows of A&E. People sure do love their train wrecks, and with a market inundated with plenty of semi-scripted reality shows, docu-reality programs such as Intervention and Hoarders on A&E have gained mass attention and Emmy-recognition, as poignant and evocative programs with a hardcore story to tell.

Discovery Health takes this concept to a new level, with its newest series that premiered last night, Tuesday, December 1, at 9:30 PM (ET/PT) I’m Pregnant and…This series documents the final stages of pregnancy and some time shortly after the birth, of a pregnant woman dealing with seemingly indomitable emotional and physical obstacles that go way beyond a really bad case of morning sickness. Some issues that will be touched upon in the series include homelessness, imprisonment, and eating disorders. That’s right, eating disorders on a pregnant woman, hmmm…wonder how that works.

Well, last night’s episode featured a women who was pregnant and addicted. Yep, pregnant and on drugs. This young woman, Colette, deals with pregnancy while nursing a serious addiction to heroin. The upside, is that Colette quits using the lethal drug while pregnant but the downside is that she, like most recovering addicts, weans herself off the drug and staves off withdrawals with the use of Methadone. Which means that her unborn child will more than likely be born with an addiction to methadone.

While it’s inappropriately comical to imagine a preemie stomping out of the womb demanding some smack, the truth of the situation is heart wrenching and Colette’s story is one that too often goes unrecorded and unrecognized.

Even though this brief glimpse into the heart of a heroin addict still drummed up feelings of resentment and often caused me to mutter “dumb biotch” at the tv screen, (especially when Colette’s monotonous and stoic tone of voice made her sound heartless), I still got a sense that this was a woman who wanted so desperately to change for her child and overcome the situation she had long been too overwhelmed by.

While I still feel the editing style, and production value of Intervention makes it a more dramatic portrayal of the human condition, the shock-value of the condition that these women find themselves in while pregnant is plenty to draw in viewers week after week, [train wreck after train wreck].

New Moon has landed!

So if you’re going to jump on the bandwagon you might as well go all the way. A fan of all four Twilight Saga books, I have been highly anticipating the film release of the second installment of the series, New Moon, even despite the disappointing performances as provided by Kristen Stewart and the hunky Robert Pattinson in the first film.

“Twilighters” have taken the literary world by storm and now the film version of the book series is taking the film world on…again. The question is though, after the franchise endured much criticism at the direction taken in the first film, will the second film provide not only an accurate portrayal of the book but a cinematically competent film as well? Naturally, I’ve seen the film and my vote is in.

Thursday night, the 19^th, I decided to partake in the double feature event that AMC was providing as part of the midnight release of New Moon. Therefore at 8pm, one of my girlfriends and I arrived to take our seats for the 9pm showing of Twilight. Although I already own a copy of the Twilight dvd and have seen the first film in theaters twice, I wanted to fully experience the Twilight Saga and compare the progression of the film series back-to-back.

Since I’m pretty much an uber fan of the books, like most other fans, I was able to forgive the often excruciating on screen interactions between Bella (Stewart) and Edward (Pattinson) in the first movie. I mean, even on a mug like Pattinson’s, the constipation-look that he adopted for the role was entirely unflattering, not too mention the pale and cakey foundation that was supposed to imitate the lack of blood circulation. But, a repeat lack-luster performance, and more made-for-tv special effects the second time would just be embarrassing. That is why I am pleased to say that after having sat through over 4 hours of what turned out to be a Twilight-extravaganza (including an opening performance in the middle of the movie theater by a local band whose songs comically narrated the plot lines of the books), New Moon definitely shows improvements to the film saga.

The dull canvas of Forks, WA and the even duller palor of the actors in the film, a la cakey foundation, has been replaced with a more rich color palette as a result of high definition and crisp filming and the proficient use of color-correction in post. And the graphics introduced with the shape-shifting werewolves is just the icing on the cake, and definitely does not ring of any sort of Smallville-esque SFX.

Unfortunately though, since New Moon is one of the more subdued and event-less books of the series these sort of improvements are somewhat lost on this installment, and the film is forced to rely more heavily on the acting of its main players. Chris Weitz, the new director of the series, fortunately seems to bring out some better acting techniques out of Stewart and company. Surprisingly her normal default setting of twitchy and awkward mannerisms is replaced with a more natural and more “Bella-ish” disposition. But, that could partly be due to the fact that most of the on-screen interaction and chemistry involves a way hunkier Jacob, as played by Taylor Lautner. The light and airy affectation of Lautner brings out an equally light and more likable side of Stewart, which is precisely what I imagined Jacob and Bella to appear like together. Lautner, and his biceps, are partly what saves this film from being just an overtly depressing profile of a stilted teenager whose only will to live stems from her vampire boyfriend.

That being said, the film possesses a degree of cinematic likability that stands a few hairs above Twilight, but with a storyline that lacks significant action and plot progression, aside from the introduction of Bella and Jacob’s potential romance, the average film-goer will find the film slow moving and just a conduit for the third film.

But like I said, I’ve already drunk the kool-aid, and even though I’ve read the books, the cliff-hanger ending still made me swoon. So, I’m sure I will still be purchasing the DVD with bonus features the first day of its release next year.

A "Fat" Olsen Twin??

I'm pretty offended. While in the checkout lane of my local supermarket, I made an earnest effort to read one of my favorite guilty pleasure mags from cover to cover, in the excruciatingly inordinate amount of time it took the cashier to ring up the one single solitary individual in front of me.
Granted, the magazine was a total tabloid rag, but I suddenly found myself outraged as I stumbled upon a small article, also featured on the cover of the magazine, blasting one of the Olsen twins--- for getting fat!!
The article was complete with a potentially doctored close-up photo of the younger twin, Mary-Kate, in an oversized black sweater (potentially to conceal said weight gain) and a caption that commented on her "bloated" figure.
As a young woman who has long since bid farewell to my Size- 3 days, it’s a bit insulting to look at the, yes, slightly fuller waif and read that this barely noticeable fluctuation in weight is being referred to as drastic and "extreme", as though she had been spotted being wheeled out onto the streets of Manhattan in an over-sized hospital bed and muu-muu, topping out at 800lbs.
Here is the photo-spread in question, along with an un-captioned version of the picture displaying her still very thin legs.
I mean is there someone out there who preferred the 2004 version of Mary-Kate when her weight bordered on Ethiopian chic?
You be the judge.

John Krasinski…Gulp…Engaged!

This may not be too earth shattering for most females, but if you actually have a pulse your heart too should be breaking right about now. My own true Hollywood sweetheart, one half of the Jim and Pam love saga on NBC’s “The Office”, is officially off the market. Yes ladies, the baby-faced boy next door that is John Krasinski has taken that first step towards real-life nuptials with girlfriend of just under a year, Emily Blunt, and has become engaged to the “The Devil Wears Prada” star. This story has sadly been confirmed by reps of “The Office" as reported to Access Hollywood this past Friday afternoon.
A case of life imitating art? It sure seems it. Rumor has it that the on-screen pair of “The Office” played by Krasinski and Jenna Fisher, Pam and Jim, will actually tie the knot come season’s end. It’s been a long awaited punctuation to the cat-and-mouse game that has had audience members, particularly of the femme variety, anxiously enduring break-ups and make-ups all for this potential small-screen moment, but could it be that playing a soon-to-wed has become as contagious as a sneeze in a crowded room? We all know that celebs have a habit of method acting to a T and Kate Hudson and “Brangelina” are a testament to that (of course in those cases it involved extracurricular affairs with the on-screen couple and not their respective relationships...but you get the point). Either way, this abrupt engagement still comes as quite a shock when Krasinski and Blunt’s relationship has, up until now, been so stealthily secured under the radar. Oh well, best of, err, luck to both of them.
Well, we better not be hearing the pitter-patter of mini-Krasinski’s anytime soon, or else we’ll truly be witnessing a case of life imitating art. (As most avid “Office” fans know, writer’s all but explicitly told audiences that Jim and Pam will be “expecting” in the forthcoming season).
[Sigh]

"Dorky Cute" the new "Hot"; I know I'm not Alone!

Alright, so I was always a big fan of Brad Pitt in his hay-day, (I guess the man is still hot, so perhaps I mean the dawn of his hay-day, pre-Angelina Jolie?), and when I was 14 naturally I adorned my bedroom walls with posters of “NSYNC” members and Jonathon Jackson (Young and the Restless anyone?). But even then, I secretly coveted Joey Fatone more than Justin Timberlake, and I always thought Joshua Jackson’s post Mighty Ducks baby fat was still cute as can be.
Oftentimes I found myself drooling silently over the underdog, the dorky best friend, the Paul Finch over the Stifler (also known as “Shit-break” of the American Pie franchise). And I eventually learned that I was simply a fan of the “dorky cute” over the conventional “hot”.
Although, network television is still trying to groom us to swoon over the glossy perfection and symmetrical pretty-boy faces of those such as Chace Crawford of Gossip Girl fame, or the stereo-typical PC of the new Bravo reality series NYC Prep, oh and of course, the lovely locks of McDreamy in Grey’s Anatomy, but the film world has taken a slight departure from the convention, and the leading man has evolved into a more well-rounded (sometimes, literally round) character, with more depth and imperfect bone structure.
This summer has already seen the likes of the ever-action-ready Christian Bale in Terminator: Salvation”, but in the highly anticipated sequel to last summer’s blockbuster Transformers, a young man known as Shia Labeouf steals the screen as the unlikely action hero. With his comic timing, and boyish features one would not equate his stature with past action-film standards, but Labeouf definitely holds his own, and looks pretty darn adorable doing it.
However, there will always be more “dorky cutes” in the comedic arena. It’s almost like the laws of physics or something; one guy’s “funny” is almost directly proportionate to your typical action hero’s “hot”. But funny is hot! And romantic comedies are just the platform for dorky-cute to become the new hot.
Last year we watched the lovable Ben Stone (played by Seth Rogen) woo the hot-blonde girl he knocked up in the aptly titled Knocked Up. And then we watched two befuddled teenagers fight for their rights to get their love interests liquored-up during the end of the year party in Super Bad, and gosh darn’t if some of us couldn’t help falling in love with the desperate McLovin. And it’s hard not to want to see two friends make a porno when it’s played by the lovably goofy Seth Rogen (as you can see Rogen gets two votes with me).
From Michael Cera to Jason Segel, Forty Year Old Virgin to Pineapple Express, the real boy-next-door has taken center-stage, and I’d like to personally thank Judd Apatow for contributing as a harbinger of the “dorky cute” revolution.

True Blood, Season 2; Bloodier and Badder than before?

HBO’s smash hit success, ‘True Blood” is back! And for those wondering what twists creator Alan Ball and his team of writers were going to cook up for us this season, after having wrapped out the clencher last season [spoiler alert for last season] and snuffing out fang-banger-hater Rene Lenier, the opener seems promising in the blood department so far.

This season’s premiere on June 14^th definitely opened up with a blood bath, as they unveiled the corpse in the bloody garbage bag conveniently wedged into the back seat of Detective Bellefleur’s car, and [oh my, another spoiler alert] showed us a less sparkly side of Lafayette, the likes of which we haven’t seen before; a beaten, bruised and imprisoned Lafayette.

Most amusingly though, I must say is the sight of Bill Compton, vampire and 1/3 of the Sookie Stackhouse love triangle, as a (he, he) father? Having witnessed the dehumanizing (quite literally) act of turning a teenage girl into a vampire last season, an act that Bill was forced to commit as a punishment for having killed a fellow vampire to save the life of Sookie, we knew that it was something Bill would probably want to keep secret from his mortal girlfriend. But when the ever-infantile vampire, Jessica, is left on his doorstep, a vampire-daddy is born and Bill must reveal the dark truth of what atrocity he had to commit for his crimes.

However, with that great admission, comes fighting, mistrust and makeup sex? Oh yes, and quite the makeup sex it was. Bighting, banging, and boobies (he, he). As for Anna Paquin, the New Zealand born actress that plays Sookie Stackhouse, not a bad pair, if I do say so myself. Not that this show hasn’t already a proven to us that HBO is “not just television” with it’s no-holds barred fang banging sex tapes, and of course Jason’s wily ways. We’ve been quite privy to Jason Stackhouse, played by Ryan Kwanten of Sydney Austalia (I know, I thought the accent was real too!), and his sex-capades with the women of Bon Temps, but who would have thought that Bill and Sookie would be “getting” more than Jason and Lafayette.

Whereas Lafayette is being held in detention, Jason has been detained by what seems like some sort of body snatcher, at least that’s the conclusion that us viewers would be left to assume as we watch him get sucked into the sinister darkness of the vamp-hating cult, I mean church, known as the “Fellowship of the Sun”. But will Jason be pledging his full-time servitude to the church this season? Jason the, um, minister? I don’t think so. In a recent interview with Ryan on fancast.com, [spoiler alert, and this is the last one I promise] we get the impression that Mr. Stackhouse will see the light, so to speak, and realize that the fellowship is blinding its followers to the more sinister intentions of the cult. According to Kwanten “As more and more information unfolds, even someone as simple as Jason sees the cracks in the foundation.”

I wonder if these cracks” have anything to do with the vampire slayer that the less civil vampire, Eric, is looking for... We’ll have to tune in and see.

Twilight's Edward May Be Used to Getting Hit By a Car, But Rob Pattinson Not So Much…

Okay, well he wasn’t so much hit as he was grazed by a taxi cab while fleeing from a horde of crazed fans, but dodging teenage girls through oncoming traffic is still pretty serious insanity. June 18^th on the New York set of his new film, Rob Pattinson was almost hit by said cab, but these days the production crew of the film Remember Me has taken to disguising mentions of the film’s title and to misleading passersby itching for a Pattinson sighting to protect the cast. His days of discretion have been thrown to wayside with the dawn of the Twilight franchise and the surmounting hype surrounding New Moon, but are moms itching to catch a glimpse of the 22 year old as well?

Last week, Orlando Florida native, Debbie Moran made the long trek with her two sisters and two daughters in tow and for a Pattinson sighting on the New York set of the film. The 50 year old woman even commented that “This is even better than seeing Brad Pitt”. Really? Mr.Pattinson, meet Mrs.Robinson.

We all just hope that Pattinson will live to finish the film so he can get back to the filming of the next installment of the series, Eclipse, set to begin production this August. Alright, selfish reasons.

NYC Prepsters unleashed on the "reality" world

With the fictional lives of my favorite deviant juveniles on hold during the bitter stasis of summer hiatus I wait with baded breath for the forthcoming season of Gossip Girl, (a guilty pleasure that I won't even subject my well intentioned boyfriend to, given the fact that I actually want to listen to the program and not his mumblings over how his flat screen is hooked up to his XBox "for a reason" whatever that means).
However, by the divine (well, quite honestly overly-contrived) intervention of the Bravo network's new summer lineup I am introduced to a summer teaser aptly titled NYC Prep. This new reality show brought to us by executive producers Scott A. Stone and Lenid Rolov, seems meant to be a homage but turns out to be a poor man's version of the Gossip Girl coterie, as the true insecurities of adolescence seems all too wearable on the personalities of these Upper West Enders.
The series introduces us to a clique of wealthy caricatures that seem to be carved out of Gossip Girl slabs, only these real-life walking talking models of a one-sided upbringing, seem to be injected with a sense of, well actual young-adult need for approval. Such is the case, when we're introduced to Kelli, a junior, who tries so hard to playoff being repeatedly grounded by her parents saying that when her parents are in the Hamptons she doesn't even care about being grounded anyways, and with an uncomfortable laugh and awkward shrug to her friends, there we see the true "Blair Waldorf" bad-assery in her uncomfortable disposition.
However, in the same scene we see the would-be "Chuck Bass", a senior known as "PC", as he deigns to hang out with said juniors, Kelli and friend Camille. Scoffing at their mentions of even being grounded, at his wise old age of 17, he remarks haughtily in his off-cam interview that "these girls are just little effing young bitches that have no idea what their talking about". Right Lethario, and I'm sure you have a wealth of worldly knowledge to impart on us viewers.
But of course they know a thing about the world! In an interview during the preview special with one of the seemingly more mature characters, Jessie, we are introduced to the world according to the Prep brats as she forcefully comments that "fortunately in NYC, for a lot of kids, we get to lead different lives and we grow up a lot faster". Sure, if by "different" you mean the tired replicas of one another, and by "grow up faster" you mean grow into the over-inflated persona you're trying to embody faster, I'll buy that.
Now one other facet of the Gossip Girl world that we can't overlook is the parental presence. While many young adult programs overlook the fact that the offspring in their show must belong to the loins of someone over the age of 18, Gossip Girl ties the parental units into some strong story-lines that make up some of the more interesting portions, specifically in latter episodes, (forbidden love and illegitimate children anyone?) but the producers of NYC Prep do a fine job of cutting around anyone with wrinkles. For instance, the previously mentioned Kelli, doesn't even live with her parents but rather lives with an 18 year old brother while her parents stay in the Hamptons. Geesh!
While this show may be nearing some outdated faux pas, I mean the far reaching effects of the economy and unfortunate plague of unemployment doesn't make the island of Manhattan impregnable to the consequences pf our real non-fictional recession, but all that pretty B-roll footage and cut-arounds of the "for rent" signs does make up for what we don't really want to see. The truth is, the fictional counterpart of this show, Gossip Girl, is just more titillating and accepted because the little bubble they live in is meant to be just that, an over-inflated bubble, while in the "real world" we just want to pop that bubble and watch these kids tumble out.